Addiction

I was having a chitter chatter along with one of my friends about sex and rejuvenation of one's self. While "she" proposed the fact that sex should be private and to be "FELT" not talked about., I differ.

For I feel, rather than "detailing" about anyone's sexual encounters, you can damn well speak about it. So I submerged my self in yet another Transcendental Meditative states and wrote about the so called "my addiction"

Addictions fall into two categories:

Substance addictions - such as food, drugs, alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine

Process addictions - such as TV, compulsive exercise, anger, obsessive thinking, controlling behavior, and sex.

Sexual addiction, or using sex addictively, is like any other addiction: it is using something or someone to fill you up or take away your pain. Whether you are sexually addicted or using sex addictively depends upon the frequency with which you use sex to fill yourself up or take away your pain.

Pain should not be misunderstood as any sheer pain we feel physically., it's the pain for Natural drive to reproduce which is opted to out-pour as a sense of pain in our mind. Or in many of my sub-conscious feelings, I feel the pain I am referring here would be the pain of loneliness or lack of attention.

Obviously, there are many different levels of sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, like all other addictions, comes from the empty wounded part of ourselves.

The ego part of ourselves - our wounded self - learns throughout childhood and adolescence various ways to attempt to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. In my adolescent boy hood years, I started to masturbate, learn to use some form of sexuality to pacify my fears of rejection. . When a substance or behavior works to fill emptiness, take away loneliness, get attention or avoid pain, it often becomes an addition.

Identifying my self with most of the above, I seriously consider that I am using sex to avoid personal responsibility for my own feelings. While it may make me feel good for the moment, in the long run I understand that it lowers my of self-worth. Anything I do to pacify myself rather than take responsibility for thinking and behaving in ways that enhance my positive sense of self, is self-abusive and self-abandoning.

It would be akin to telling a child to watch pornography or masturbate when the child is feeling like taking a piss, rather than attend to the child's real needs. When you use an addiction to pacify your painful feelings rather than attend to them, you are abandoning yourself - your inner child.

So., Next time I want to act out sexually, perhaps I should stop for a moment and tune into my own feelings.

Am I feeling sad, alone, empty, depressed rejected, abandoned, anxious, scared, or angry? Instead of pacifying myself with sex, I might have to sit down and think clearly about what is causing me to feel badly and to want to act out.

I guess I have to learn how on bringing in a compassionate spiritual Source of love and comfort to fill the emptiness and aloneness.